Testing the strong ones

"and i'll tell you i'm sorry
that i can't take this pain away from you
and i'd put it on my own body if i knew how to
can't you see"

In a matter of 3-4 days, and after 16 hours in the air, and a 3 hr taxi ride, i will be arriving in Jinja, Uganda. i have no idea what i'm getting myself into. i am the girl who was so into Invisible Children, went to DC to sleep outside for Displace Me. i read article after article on the LRA, joseph kony, and the Child Soldiers. i know the climate of where i am traveling. i know that Jinja is he 2nd largest city in Uganda, and i know roughly how much extra money i will need after i pay the orphanage. With all the preparation in the wold, i am sitting here feeling nothing but unprepared for this. This has been a dream of mine for so long, i feel like i should be nothing but excited. i am almost entirely packed, and every night i get more and more anxious. i love last minute things, but i guess i've been learning how awful i am with anticipation. 3 months isn't that long, no. But it is the longest i've ever gone with out seeing either of my parents. pretty crazy that i can say that a 20, guess i'm pretty lucky. i know my Dad would be siked i was doing this. driving out of the city tonight weirded me out, thinking next time i drive back into philadelphia, i would have spent 3 months in East Africa, getting to know the staff at the orphanage and the 70+ children, and their individual personalities. How do i go about preparing myself to spend 12 weeks with children who have nothing, and no one, just to leave them as well at the end of my stay there. seeing children who are in physical and emotional pain, and not being able to take that away. i don't know. i am aware my faith and understanding of humanity will be challenged constantly , am i prepared for that, no of course not. anything unknown can be scary, and equally as exciting. worying doesn't change anything, now does it? so i'll keep this updated when i have internet acess. hope everyone and anyone who reads this is doing well, and send me your adress so i can send you a post card.